mleku nostr:npub1fjqqy4a93z5zsjwsfxqhc2764kvykfdyttvldkkkdera8dr78vhsmmleku Feb 26 2022 (revised Feb 2026)
To make it easier for people to learn how to eliminate toxic people from their lives, I devised a short set of memorable keywords that can be used to help remember how to identify the behaviours of manipulators.
There is 9 core tactics and with the knowledge of these, and how to respond to them, you can dramatically change your life for the better.
The first rebuttal that I get after I explain these things, usually before I even get started explaining it, is a classic gaslighting attack, which is: Blaming other people is the behaviour of psychopaths.
Yes, this is true, that they cannot recognise or accept their responsibility, but when we tolerate this behaviour we put them in charge of our lives and this is easy to fix, the sooner action is taken.
The 9 tactics are not equal in nature. They fall into two distinct phases, and understanding this structure is as important as knowing the individual tactics.
The first phase consists of tactics that do not restrict your freedom of exit. They are designed to create vulnerability, disable critical thinking, and establish psychological leverage — but they cannot force you to do anything. You can still walk away. The manipulator is investing effort to make you choose not to.
These tactics work by exploiting normal human social instincts: trust, reciprocity, desire for belonging, and aversion to conflict. They are dangerous precisely because they don't feel like attacks.
The preparatory tactics are: Charm, Confuse, Cornucopia, Conspire, and Charge.
The second phase consists of tactics that restrict your freedom of exit. They are control levers that only work because the preparatory phase has already been executed. Without the groundwork of Phase 1, these tactics would provoke immediate resistance. After Phase 1, the target has been conditioned to accept them.
The key distinction: preparatory tactics exploit your psychology. Control tactics exploit your situation — your isolation, your dependencies, your fear of consequences. They change the cost of leaving from zero to something you may not be willing to pay.
The control tactics are: Chain, Chasten, Coerce, and Condemn.
This two-phase structure reveals something critical: the earlier you recognise what is happening, the cheaper it is to escape. During Phase 1, the cost of walking away is near zero — you lose nothing real, only the illusion that was being constructed for you. Once Phase 2 begins, the manipulator has arranged circumstances so that leaving costs you relationships, resources, reputation, or freedom.
This is also why the recommended reactions escalate in severity through the 9 tactics — from Alert (just pay attention) through to Fight (physical resistance). The reactions are proportional because the stakes increase as the manipulator transitions from preparation to control.
It also provides a diagnostic tool: if you observe an institution, group, or individual deploying Phase 2 tactics, you can be certain that Phase 1 was already executed, whether you noticed it or not. Control without preparation is just naked aggression, which is far less effective. The presence of control tactics implies prior manipulation.
To make them more memorable, I trawled the thesaurus to find a set of words with a common initial character. C seemed to be a good choice.
I have a How to react section and at the top of this is a single word that should inspire the correct response to make. With experience, one becomes able to preempt and counterattack when these tactics are first witnessed with a new person who is seeking to take control of the social environment you are in.
Phase 1 — Preparatory. This is the foundation upon which all subsequent tactics are built. It creates trust and emotional attachment, which the manipulator will later exploit as leverage. None of the control tactics work on someone who hasn't first been charmed, because an uncharmed target will simply resist or leave. Charm is the investment; everything else is the extraction.
The usual first and often primary tactics of manipulation don't seem at all unfriendly. When you first come into contact with a psychopath, they usually will attempt to charm you.
It can be hard to recognise the difference between the tactics of a psychopath in winning your trust, but once you know it, you will never be vulnerable again.
In cults, there is a procedure that is called "Love Bombing", and the result is the vulnerable target becomes infatuated with the attackers and the group they represent. It doesn't matter whether it is one person just gaining your trust or a group, the tactics are the same.
Confession - very often the psychopath will start by "confessing" something to you, and gauging your reaction. This is supposed to cause a mirror reaction in the target, which makes them confess. This is related to Chasten, later on, which will explain more.
Conspiracy - also related to the item noted later on, this is a "Us versus Them" element, which creates an illusion of membership of an exclusive club.
Confusion - In addition, to reduce the chance of you twigging that something is afoot, they may also confuse you with the way they speak. The "patter" commonly seen in numerous well known ethnic groups around the world notorious for scamming and trickery is one form, and anything that makes you confused is a red flag you are being manipulated.
There is other elements to this, but the way that you can recognise what is happening, if you don't see the way they did it to you, is you will feel inexplicably infatuated.
When it was done to me by a potential employer in an interview, I told myself it was some kind of "bromance" and I felt very weird, and recognised but could not put my finger on what was happening. It was infatuation.
If you notice the tactics mentioned above, try to submissively make excuses why you have to part company, if you can, fabricate some kind of curiosity or pain or anything that will stop them talking to you. Confusing them is often a very effective technique, start acting crazy, and they will realise they are not dealing with a victim anymore, but are at risk of being outed.
Phase 1 — Preparatory. Confusion disables the target's capacity for critical evaluation. It is the manipulator's primary defence against being identified. While Charm creates a positive emotional pull toward the manipulator, Confuse neutralises the analytical faculty that might otherwise see through the Charm. Together they form a pincer: Charm says "trust me," Confuse prevents you from thinking clearly enough to ask "why should I?"
This one is a core, number one tactic used in almost all cases. There is many ways to confuse, through sleight of hand, fast, indistinct speech, rapid changing of direction of attention, and so on.
Note that this tactic can sometimes go along with various methods of trance induction as you can see being performed by hypnotists. Music and rhythmic speech can cause the brain to enter a "programming mode" in which the words that are said to the target create subconscious suggestions that will motivate action in the favour of the manipulator.
Being so primary, this one got a nice little nickname for recognising it:
If you are feeling confused when someone is communicating with you, they very possibly could be trying to do other things that you may not be aware of, and may hurt you a lot if you don't get them out of your face.
Again, as with most of these, first response is to flee the presence of this person. With confusion tactics, you can pretend confusion to confuse them back, in order to make an opportunity to disappear.
If one is confined with the person, just do something to make them feel like they are wasting their time, act crazy, or retarded, or in some way offend them. Touching them or getting too intimate will make them also freak out and stop trying to control you. I am not saying any one of these things is advisable, in the situation of confinement, you have to judge for yourself the danger level you are in.
Phase 1 — Preparatory, creates obligation. Cornucopia is the most deceptive of the preparatory tactics because it looks like generosity. Its mechanism is the creation of a debt that the target didn't ask for but feels obligated to repay. This manufactured obligation serves two functions: it provides leverage for future Coerce ("after everything I've done for you"), and it suppresses the target's critical evaluation of the manipulator ("they've been so generous, they can't be bad"). Cornucopia is non-coercive — nobody forces you to accept a gift — but it is designed to make the transition to Phase 2 feel natural. The target who has accepted Cornucopia will find it psychologically much harder to recognise Chain, Chasten, and Coerce for what they are, because acknowledging the manipulation means acknowledging that the "gifts" were weapons.
This is the most subtle and insidious tactic. Essentially, it is the offering of unearned, undue gifts from the attacker.
The attacker will also usually then act all offended when you offer to pay it back.
The psychopath means to gain control of you by this gift. Usually the gift is not even really the property of the attacker, but something they have acquired through prior graft and manipulation, or even straight up robbery.
First, you can make a big public noise about the fact that this person is giving you a stupid and unreasonably extravagant gift.
Second, spit in their face about it. Whether literally or figuratively, it doesn't matter. They gave it to charm you. The correct response is to make a spectacle of the fact they did it, thus "spit" - as in, in their face, because it was an ill intended gift, and make as much use of it as you can. Give it back to the victims they stole it from, perhaps. There is many options.
Phase 1 — Preparatory, force multiplier. Conspire is a preparatory tactic that extends the manipulator's reach beyond their own direct contact. It is essentially Charm applied instrumentally: the manipulator recruits a proxy by charming them and then directing their actions via Charge (accusing the target of some offence the proxy should help punish). Conspire is non-coercive toward the proxy — the proxy acts willingly, believing the manipulator's framing. This makes Conspire a preparation tactic, but one that can dramatically accelerate the transition to Phase 2 by surrounding the target with multiple apparent aggressors, making Chain much easier to establish. The proxy often doesn't know they are being used, which makes this tactic particularly insidious.
This is a tactic that is used to create a proxy to attack a target of a psychopath. They probably will use Charm techniques to attempt to gain your cooperation, and Charge the target with some percieved offense. They will then try to implant the suggestion of an attack they want you to perform for them.
If you are already suspecting this individual who is attempting conspiracy with you to be a psychopath, you should make sure that the target knows it.
The number one thing that psychopaths are afraid of is being recognised as psychopaths.
If it is a pressure situation, you can then close ranks against the attacker with an overtly conspiratorial whispering in the ear of what is going on, and that you want to support them to confront the attack with a vocal declaration of perceiving this attack in process.
Be aware that it can be the case that the target is also a psychopath, and this can create a pincer action to pin you down.
Note that this is not a frequent situation, psychopaths rarely cooperate with each other except to not out each other. But if it is, you hopefully will be aware of this before you attempt to counterattack.
Phase 1 — Preparatory, transitional. Charge is the bridge between preparation and control. In its early form (gaslighting, name-calling), it is preparatory: it destabilises the target's self-confidence and creates a defensive posture that makes them easier to manipulate. The target begins to expend energy defending themselves rather than evaluating the manipulator. In its later form, Charge provides the justification framework for the Phase 2 control tactics — you cannot Chasten, Coerce, or Condemn someone without first having Charged them with an offence. Charge manufactures the pretext that the control tactics require.
Charge is more often recognisable as accusation. A person who engages in manipulation will use charges against their target in order to invoke Chasten (see later on), and the primary purpose is to deflect attention away from the mischief the manipulator is engaging in.
Note that a common primary form of this attack is known as "Gaslighting" which combines with Confuse to accuse you of being weak of mind or in some way crazy. They might literally say crazy, or call you some kind of name or further accusation such as "junky" or "drunk" or "idiot" or "ingrate" or other "shameful" social status label.
If you see someone doing this to others, you can watch the behaviour of their target and start to understand what is going on. If you already knew this person was always accusing people, you are looking at a very probable psychopath.
First reaction is to cut contact, end communication. In fact, there is no response you can make to an accusing psychopath that will stop them, the more you try to defend yourself, the more ammunition you will give them.
Second thing to do is to recognise you may be dealing with a psychopath, and if they clearly have control of others around you, you need to start investigating them, observing their behaviour, the way they treat other people.
Once you gather enough evidence you can start to point it out to other people and weaken the attackers control in the social network you are part of.
Phase 2 — Control. This is the first true control tactic, and it marks the transition from preparation to coercion. Chain restricts the target's freedom of exit by controlling their environment and social connections. It depends on prior Charm (the target must have been drawn in willingly) and often Confuse (the target doesn't clearly see what has happened). Once Chain is in place, all subsequent control tactics become dramatically more effective, because the target is now isolated from outside perspectives that might help them recognise the manipulation. Chain is the infrastructure that makes Chasten, Coerce, and Condemn possible — it provides the captive audience and removes the escape routes.
This is something that you will see when a psychopath is operating something that is concretely, or recognisable in a more general way, as being a Cult of Personality.
The essential thing going on here, is once the manipulator believes they have their hooks into you, via other tactics, especially Charm, they will then make their work easier by putting you into an isolated container with others they have control over.
If you are already this deep into the process of being taken over, you obviously are in trouble.
First step is to get the hell out. If they are in a position to control your environment like this, it is possible that you may have to pay a heavy cost to sacrifice whatever "perceived benefits" that being part of their group may provide, you have to forget about them, let them go, get them out of your head. At all costs.
Phase 2 — Control. Chasten is the maintenance mechanism of control. It requires both Chain (a captive audience of other controlled individuals) and Charge (a pretext for the humiliation). Its function is to periodically reinforce the target's submissive state by demonstrating, publicly, the consequences of stepping out of line. Chasten also serves as a warning to all other members of the Chain — they witness the humiliation and internalise the lesson without needing to be targeted directly. This is why Chasten is always public: its value is as much in the message it sends to bystanders as in the damage it does to the target.
This is something that is easier to see being done to others, as it involves Charge from the previous item. It is more often referred to as "Public Humiliation" and is a part of the process of maintaining control over an individual, and keeping them in the submissive frame of mind.
If you are being accused and induced to make confessions to the manipulator, or are watching them do it to other people, you can be certain that you are dealing with a psychopath.
This is really a further elaboration past the accusations from Charge, in which shame is used by doing the accusation in public, around a group of others who are also under control (see Chain).
Again, things are pretty bad if you are in this situation. You may have to lose a lot to escape from this manipulator. How you want to go about it is up to you.
This is also a point at which in a covert cult of personality, where control is not total or overt, a counter-attack can be launched to lure the manipulator into a trap of their own making.
I will not say I know how to do this, or explain anything at all beyond that, because I don't know. But I do know that during this process, the manipulator is vulnerable to becoming humiliated themselves, if you can bring evidence and there is weak enough control in the social millieu that this can take a big chunk out of their influencing power.
Thus the reaction word here is Preempt. Once you have recognised this tactic at play, you can turn the tables on the psychopath, but as I say, the exact methods that can be used I don't yet know, at this stage in my research, and experience.
Phase 2 — Control. Coercion is the direct application of pressure to compel specific actions. It depends on Charge (the accusation that non-compliance is an offence) and Chain (the social environment in which the accusation carries weight). Coerce differs from Chasten in that Chasten is retrospective punishment for past behaviour, while Coerce is prospective — it dictates future behaviour under threat. The mechanism is: Charge provides the moral framework ("refusal is harmful/selfish/dangerous"), Chain ensures there is no one around to challenge that framing, and Coerce applies the resulting pressure to force compliance. The target acts not from agreement but from fear of consequences — consequences that the manipulator has arranged to be able to deliver.
Coercion is the manipulation of the actions of a person by falsely calling the choice of other options an offence, to which the Charge (and then Condemn) tactics will follow.
A concrete example of this is the tactics being used by pharmaceutical companies and their corrupt political representatives in the form of twisting the refusal to take a medical procedure into being an act of overt attack to a vulnerable group, such as the old and obese (and/or immunocompromised).
First of all, doing what they want you to do is going to harm you, if not directly, it will harm your ability to defend yourself and your loved ones.
Second, you must not bow to the pressure. This is why in all cases in reacting to these manipulations, the first option is escape.
Third, pretending compliance is a dangerous path to take. Getting false certification, for example, of having complied, can lead to more trouble where you are now really are doing wrong things.
The general nature of how to respond to coercion is to simply smile and nod, and then continue as though you didn't hear them. Then you can use confusion tactics to either fool them into thinking you are just confused, or to "waste their time" which will lead them to pay less attention to you in future.
Phase 2 — Control. Condemn is the terminal escalation of the control phase. It is the fulfilment of the threats implied by Coerce and demonstrated by Chasten. Condemn requires all prior tactics to have been executed: Charm (so the target was drawn in), Confuse (so they didn't see it coming), Charge (so there is a pretext), Chain (so they are isolated), and Coerce (so refusal has been established as an offence). Condemn is always public because its primary function, like Chasten, is deterrence — but at a higher intensity. Where Chasten humiliates, Condemn destroys: exile, deprivation, imprisonment, or worse. The escalation from Chasten to Condemn reveals the manipulator's true nature most clearly, because it is the point at which the mask of social normalcy is hardest to maintain.
This is also known as "Punishment" and involves such things as being cut off from essential supplies, excluded from shelter, and so on. This is where you also see detention, imprisonment and torture, all the way up to execution.
Condemnation is always public, and isn't necessarily physically attacking you, but may harm you in other ways, relating to your outcast status at this point.
I wish I could say that this isn't what has to be done, but yes, you have to fight back with every fibre of your being at this point. Every tactic you can bring to bear, to confuse the enemy, to sabotage their equipment, to physically attack them, bite, scratch, whatever it takes.
Of course the reaction needs to be proportional to the degree of damage being inflicted upon you. This is a good time to attack them because if they think they can punish you, they think they have control of you and of the group witnessing it.
Just remember, in the mind of a psychopath, a rape victim is being condemned. The rape is their punishment for their short skirt, their pretty hair, or their lack of wearing a Burka.
So keep in mind that this action is along a continuum, and is about giving the psychopath an opportunity for their pleasure. Psychopaths' primary malfunction is that they experience pleasure in the opposite way to normal people. Normal, healthy humans have a "mirror" response sometimes called "Sympathy", which is also a word that has been given bad associations by psychopath manipulators, because it does indeed make us vulnerable to the psychopaths.
You can recognise psychopaths even just by this one thing, more than any other, when you witness them engaging in Condemn behaviours. Other tactics are not necessarily deliberate, and can be the remnants of the brainwashing that manipulators push onto their victims, that persist long after the cause is gone. When they smirk or grin after you point out they did something really nasty to someone, you should see red flags.
The two-phase structure can also be understood as a dependency graph — each tactic depends on specific prior tactics having been executed:
Phase 1 (Preparation) Phase 2 (Control)
======================== ========================
Charm ──────────────────────> Chain
│ │
├──> Confuse ├──> Chasten
│ │ │ │
│ └──> Charge ──────────> ├──> Coerce
│ │ │ │
│ └────────────────└──> Condemn
│
├──> Conspire (multiplies reach, accelerates Chain)
│
└──> Cornucopia (creates obligation, suppresses recognition)
Charm is the root dependency. Without it, nothing else works. This is why the recommended reaction to Charm is merely "Alert" — at this stage, the cost of walking away is zero, and recognising it early prevents everything that follows.
Chain is the critical transition point. It is where the cost of exit goes from near-zero to significant. Every control tactic depends on Chain being in place. This is why the reaction to Chain is "Evade" — it is the last moment where escape is relatively straightforward.
Condemn is the terminal node. It depends on everything before it. By this point, the reaction must be "Fight" because all softer options have been closed off by the prior tactics.
Hopefully this gives you a good starting point to work from in order to transition to living a life free of the pernicious influence of psychopaths.
Note that in all cases, it is not your responsibility to help other people directly. Simply abandoning the psychopath is a huge attack against their control.
You will not be able to effectively counterattack while you still have unrecognised control conditioning implanted by psychopaths operating within your personality.
I will address the tactics I am aware of and have had success in using in my own situation in the recent past, in a future article.
Some of them are simple, and may be called "mindfulness". Others are not so easy. Sometimes the conditioning is very deep, and touches on base instincts such as some of my own, which are rooted in a panic reaction that I believe was triggered repeatedly in me during the last half of my second year of life.
I will just say regarding this, that especially when it comes to smoking tobacco, this is a very common reaction of people with deep and difficult conditioning created by psychopaths in their past. Simply stopping smoking unleashes a suppressed anger at being manipulated, and is a good, but very scary and potentially dangerous first step in breaking the control of the psychopaths in your life.
I won't deceive you by saying that it's easy. It takes a lot of courage to break out of the control of psychopaths. It takes a lot of love of yourself.
What started me on the road to my first major, real escape, was exactly love - as I watched my newly increased wealth from my new jobs being chipped away at a rate of 20%, by my "friends" I became motivated to escape them so that I could direct my wealth towards people I loved, like my sister and mother. So this does go somewhere, even if it doesn't start with self love, it can start with love for others, and then you will soon discover that it is an aspect of your self love at play, the self that is part of one's family, tribe or nation.
Good luck in your future psychic combat with psychopaths!
I hope this inspires more liberation from slavery in the world around me, that is my deepest desire and reason for the research and writing of these articles.
We are in a dire situation in the world, at this time, with a global grid of psychopaths closing their net on everyone.
If you are concerned about the bigger picture, then let me reassure you:
You can't possibly help the bigger situation if one pitiful psychopath can play you like a musical instrument.
Go forth, and liberate! May God be with you!